The Hallway.
From the outside an ordinary house.
A great house, true.
483 rooms, each one with its own marble wash basin and douche.
Bide as it's known.
But inside ... and the positions are reversed.
A human failing, some say a disease, but a disease that Sir Francis Dashwood knew and used well.
Upstairs, inside and a revelation, it's a discotheque.
No, no, err ... there are paintings ... real ... and look here!
A rare 17th century masterpiece.
And if I can scrape a little of it off, beneath I can find hidden ... a 14th century underpiece.
Made entirely of tiny pieces of eggshell.
This lurid work has caused controversy in the world of embroidery and anthropology.
No, I'll say it again: anthropoloblogy.
No, quite possibly making anthropole.
No, I mean an epilog ... it has enthralled distinguished professors and in layman's language,
It's blinking well buffling, but to be more obtusely; buggered if I know.
Yes, buggered IF I know.
And that's all we've been so far.
From experts in 14th century painting renaissance greengrocers, and recently revived members of the public.
Buggered if I know.
Vivian Stanshall, about 3 o'clock in the morning, Oxfordshire 1973.
Goodnight!
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